...when I woke up at 3:38 AM.

Some people say I have a vivid imagination.  I prefer to call it insight.

I wake up sometimes.  Usually it isn’t a big deal.  But last night, I woke up and I was absolutely furious.  I mean it, I rarely get that angry.  Mostly because I’m nonconfrontational and also too nice for my own good, but I digress.

Anyway, it was like Attack of the Angry Katie:

 

 

It was difficult to go back to sleep because I kept fuming.  I tried lots of things.

I tried tossing and turning.

 

That was a bust.

I tried a trip to the bathroom.

My bladder was not the problem.

Finally, I accepted that I was angry, and as there was actually no real cause, I had to try to let go of it so I could go to sleep.

I turned on my TV.

There was a movie on Lifetime.  I read the description.  It was about a woman marrying herself.

That did the trick. 

I thought that was the end of it.  I was wrong, obviously.

The next day I told my co-worker that I had woken up at 3:38 AM, and that I had been furious like I was when I woke up from my wisdom teeth surgery that one time.

It probably wasn’t.  But still.

A funny thing happened when I opened a fortune cookie.

Hi.  My name is Katie.  This is me:

I've been writing stories since I was 5.  (Lacey's Shapes is a masterpiece of magic marker and phonetic spelling, thank you very much.)  But recently, I made the decision to be a writer.  I suppose I should have started a blog a long time ago, but to be honest, I never knew how to start one.  I mean, what do you do?  Just show up on the internet and start talking about your life?  In the real world, that's weird.  Nobody likes that kid.  It's like, "seriously, why do we care?"

And yet, here I am.  And it's because I take fortune cookies very seriously.  I'm one of those people that's always reading way too much into everything.  I'm sure you know someone like me.  I'm the person who gets stopped by a red light as I'm rushing to an interview and thinks "OH MY GOSH, GOD IS TELLING ME I'M PURSUING THE WRONG CAREER PATH." 

For you visual types out there, it looks like this:

At that point, I will have no choice but to write stories on napkins that make less and less sense (the stories, not the napkins) as I slowly develop schizophrenia, and then volunteers from churches will visit me and bring me blankets, and when I bum a smoke off of one of them, I'll develop lung cancer and die.

Anyway, life can get pretty heavy when you see every red light as a verdict of your 5-year plan.  So when I got this fortune in my cookie--

I thought, "yes, yes it is.  It's all that gets me through sometimes.  How did this fortune cookie know?"

There is only one explanation.

 

 

So here I am.  To write about my life.  Which will, in large part, include some of the outrageous things that go on in my head.  But what I aim to do is make light of...well...everything.  Because I've learned that life is better when you put it in perspective.  Drawing people like gum balls is a good way to do that.  I hope God will forgive me.

By the way, I don't have a 5-year plan.  I'm not that logical.