...when I got a little too big for my britches. Or rather, they got a little too big for me.

As I mentioned in the previous entry, I've been cooking.  A lot.  Which means I've been eating a ton of fresh food, no processed food, and a vastly increased amount of protein and vegetables.  Basically, I'm eating healthy.  But I promise I'm not insufferable about it.  It just kind of happened, with the delightful consequence that some of my clothes (which had previously gotten waaaaay too tight) are now getting a little loose.

Including my pants.

I've learned that anything--anything--can be a mechanism for valuable life lesson learning.  A few weeks ago, I did a particularly painful bit of learning.

I work at a medical school and state-run hospital.  However, I am not a doctor.  In fact, I'm probably about as far as you can get from medical personnel.  I edit research papers.  It's a trip.

But anyway, I haven't been working on the main campus for very long.  I started in March, not long before the med school let out for the summer.  Thus, this August has been my very first joyful experience with the beginning of a new term.  I was running late one day, and it just so happened to be one of the first days on campus for the first-year med students.  So I trotted up to the tinfoil lean-to where we all wait for the shuttle to come pick us up from our far-flung urban satellite parking lot, and I saw this:

Well, I'm super uncomfortable around crowds of people squeezing into a small space.  I probably would not survive in China.  I would have a mental breakdown and expire.

So I was already unhappy.  Vastly unhappy.  I was running late, and the shuttle was packed like a can of sardines.  And those sardines were all 22 years old, overexcited, and unjustly chic.  About half of them were wearing stilettos, and nearly all of them were super impressed with themselves.

Cue defensive mental sniping.

But as God once told this one dude who wrote it down, and as it was later included in this one book that talks about life and how to live it and what happens when you die and stuff like that,

"Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a...

Proverbs'd.



First Note: The lean-to is not really made of tinfoil.  Nor is it really a lean-to.

Second Note: I did actually survive in China once, for about two weeks.  But judging by my experience there with crowded spaces and sheer numbers of people, I'm thinking a more permanent arrangement probably wouldn't work out for me.

Third Note: John Smith is actually pretty nice, I liked him.  However, his real name is not John Smith.  And that doesn't change the fact that I was hardcore judging those eager beavers.

Fourth Note: I mentioned my pants because I tripped getting down off the shuttle.  And though it all happened really quickly, I'm pretty sure my pants might have had something to do with it.  Sometimes I get one foot caught in the opposite pant leg when I walk.  I don't know how I accomplish this, but it gets worse with extra fabric.

Fifth Note: Ok, ok, I mentioned my pants because I really wanted to use a clever title for this entry.  You got me.

Final Note: If you aren't familiar with the "verb'd" scheme, you need to watch The Guild.  Even if you do know how to turn any word into a nerdy gaming verb, you need to watch The Guild.  Heck, even if you've seen The Guild, you need to watch The Guild.  I have provided you with four different opportunities to click through and do this.  So do it.  Gosh.

...when I was kidnapped by Russian spies and spent 6 months becoming queen rat of a gulag.

Just kidding.  I didn't go to Russia.  I did go to Las Vegas.  But that's a story for another time.

I've been gone for a long time.  So I guess the responsible thing would be to tell you what I've been doing.

Honestly, not a lot.  I got a new job and, as many of you know, I do not have a personal computer.  So I was kind of using my old work laptop at home whenever I needed to use a computer.  Which is a gross violation of all kinds of company rules, I'm sure, but I walk on the wild side/I'm a habitual rule-follower and I really hate getting in trouble so please, please, PLEASE don't tell my old boss even though she couldn't really do anything about it I would just know that I had broken a rule and people were disappointed and I'd probably throw up.

None of which changes the fact that I don't have a computer.  Or a scanner.  Or a smart phone.  Or a DVD player.  Or much of anything, really, because I'm cheap and stubborn.  In fact, until about a year ago, my glasses were held together by paper and Scotch tape.

But I digress.  Which is a pretty good sign that I'm alive, because according to most circles of thought, you have to be alive to digress.

I've missed y'all.  I've also missed drawing circles with faces.  So I decided to suck it up and...blog on someone else's computer!  (You thought I was going to say "buy my own computer," didn't you?  Preposterous.)

One thing I have been doing a lot of the past couple of months is cooking.  Which has involved learning a lot of things, such as how to turn on the oven and what green onions  look like.

 

 

 

Don't even act like you don't know what I'm talking about.  I know I'm not the only one who's done that.

I learned how to scramble an egg, how to peel a zucchini, how to boil chicken, and then many more complicated skills.  I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my friend Lizzie, by the way, for all her culinary wisdom.

But some things I had to learn on my own.  For instance, I thought it would be a really good idea if, instead of pulling apart a giant head of cauliflower with my bare hands (cooking is not for the weak), I put it into a sandwich baggie and BEAT IT AGAINST THE COUNTER.

It wasn't.

I've had some successes.

I've had some failures.

But one thing's for sure...

Note: I finally got a Wacom tablet.  So, thanks to my parents, the scanner step has been rendered obsolete.  But I'm still getting used to it, so my drawings are going to look a little messy(er than usual) for a while.

Another Note: I feel really silly apologizing for being away so long, like "I'm so sorry friends, I know that you live for my blog, but I have once again fallen into the pit of fear that I haven't updated in such a long time, and it's been way easier to pretend the whole problem doesn't exist and put it off for another day, and also it's way easier to be funny when you're not trying and thus I'm afraid I'm not funny anymore simply because I was funny before, isn't that ironic?"  I know that you guys have better things to do than read my blog, and your lives have probably been progressing just fine without it, but I also feel that I owe you an apology because let's face it, I'm a habitual apologizer, that most obnoxious of things, and also a chronic worry worm.  But then the strong woman in me rears her powerful feminine head and says "you don't owe anyone anything, sister!"  So I'm not sure if this is an apology for not posting for so long, an apology for apologizing and implying that your life revolves around me and what I write, or an apology for thinking I owe you an apology.  So pick your favorite and accept it with my compliments.  :)

A Final Note: Yes, I go to the grocery store regularly now.  Marvel at my personal growth.

A Parting Thought: The only people to whom I REALLY owe an apology are my roommates.