...when I was kidnapped by Russian spies and spent 6 months becoming queen rat of a gulag.

Just kidding.  I didn't go to Russia.  I did go to Las Vegas.  But that's a story for another time.

I've been gone for a long time.  So I guess the responsible thing would be to tell you what I've been doing.

Honestly, not a lot.  I got a new job and, as many of you know, I do not have a personal computer.  So I was kind of using my old work laptop at home whenever I needed to use a computer.  Which is a gross violation of all kinds of company rules, I'm sure, but I walk on the wild side/I'm a habitual rule-follower and I really hate getting in trouble so please, please, PLEASE don't tell my old boss even though she couldn't really do anything about it I would just know that I had broken a rule and people were disappointed and I'd probably throw up.

None of which changes the fact that I don't have a computer.  Or a scanner.  Or a smart phone.  Or a DVD player.  Or much of anything, really, because I'm cheap and stubborn.  In fact, until about a year ago, my glasses were held together by paper and Scotch tape.

But I digress.  Which is a pretty good sign that I'm alive, because according to most circles of thought, you have to be alive to digress.

I've missed y'all.  I've also missed drawing circles with faces.  So I decided to suck it up and...blog on someone else's computer!  (You thought I was going to say "buy my own computer," didn't you?  Preposterous.)

One thing I have been doing a lot of the past couple of months is cooking.  Which has involved learning a lot of things, such as how to turn on the oven and what green onions  look like.

 

 

 

Don't even act like you don't know what I'm talking about.  I know I'm not the only one who's done that.

I learned how to scramble an egg, how to peel a zucchini, how to boil chicken, and then many more complicated skills.  I owe a huge debt of gratitude to my friend Lizzie, by the way, for all her culinary wisdom.

But some things I had to learn on my own.  For instance, I thought it would be a really good idea if, instead of pulling apart a giant head of cauliflower with my bare hands (cooking is not for the weak), I put it into a sandwich baggie and BEAT IT AGAINST THE COUNTER.

It wasn't.

I've had some successes.

I've had some failures.

But one thing's for sure...

Note: I finally got a Wacom tablet.  So, thanks to my parents, the scanner step has been rendered obsolete.  But I'm still getting used to it, so my drawings are going to look a little messy(er than usual) for a while.

Another Note: I feel really silly apologizing for being away so long, like "I'm so sorry friends, I know that you live for my blog, but I have once again fallen into the pit of fear that I haven't updated in such a long time, and it's been way easier to pretend the whole problem doesn't exist and put it off for another day, and also it's way easier to be funny when you're not trying and thus I'm afraid I'm not funny anymore simply because I was funny before, isn't that ironic?"  I know that you guys have better things to do than read my blog, and your lives have probably been progressing just fine without it, but I also feel that I owe you an apology because let's face it, I'm a habitual apologizer, that most obnoxious of things, and also a chronic worry worm.  But then the strong woman in me rears her powerful feminine head and says "you don't owe anyone anything, sister!"  So I'm not sure if this is an apology for not posting for so long, an apology for apologizing and implying that your life revolves around me and what I write, or an apology for thinking I owe you an apology.  So pick your favorite and accept it with my compliments.  :)

A Final Note: Yes, I go to the grocery store regularly now.  Marvel at my personal growth.

A Parting Thought: The only people to whom I REALLY owe an apology are my roommates.